I’ve spent the last couple days staying with friends on the coast. Not doing much of anything except visiting.¹ I really do enjoy catching up with people, and just spending some time talking with people I haven’t seen; so much of my time is otherwise spent rushing around so often. I also had the opportunity to discuss local politics, which given the somewhat predictable biases of the various news agencies is often to only way to really get a sense of what’s going on.

There’s such a big difference between traveling alone and traveling with friends that it’s almost like I’m on two different trips. I find traveling with other people far more fun, although maybe that’s just a byproduct of being alone so much. And even visiting friends can be vastly different, depending on the circumstance. I can be:

• Meeting a friend in a city I’ve visited before
• Meeting a friend in a city neither of us has been to
• Meeting a friend in a city they’ve visited before
• Visiting a friend where they live

Of all these, I think the first and the last are the best. In the first, I get to play tour guide, make suggestions, see things I missed the first time around and pretend like I know what I’m doing.² In the last case, I get to let someone else worry about me for once — am I eating okay, is there anything I really want to see in the city, do I have any errands to run?

I think I’ve at least established over the past year I’m capable of taking care of myself. I don’t know if I’ve been especially tested³ but I seem to be doing fine. But the constant press of even trivial decisions can get overwhelming: where do I eat tonight, should I see a museum or just stay in, do I really want to argue with this cab driver who I’m pretty sure is trying to rip me off.

So maybe that’s what’s so nice about being with friends from time to time. You don’t need to make all these decisions for yourself. You can discuss them, or let someone else make up your mind for you. Being alone means worrying about yourself all the time. It’s nice not to have to do that, if only for a little bit.

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Footnotes

¹ I did manage to see the castle on the hill, which was built around 500 and used for over 1000 years, although it’s not in particularly good repair. It was a nice short hike down and back, which was ideal given how much walking I’ve been doing over the past week.

² Pretending you know what you’re doing is almost a prerequisite for actually figuring out what you’re doing. No apologies.

³ Last-minute hotel cancelations, running out of the local currency, booking the wrong flights, and losing my wallet aren’t really first-tier emergencies.